by Larry Fox
I was here in Denver, Colorado,
trolling the radio waves, skipping across the stratosphere and I landed upon an
East Coast radio station with the call letters “WBUL.”
It was about 2:00 AM - the
twitching hour - when I caught the last seconds of a profit-making Milk of
Magnesia commercial.
Radio: “And now we return to our irregularly
scheduled programming, ‘THE MIME RADIO
HOUR.’”
I picked up my beverage on the nightstand
and peered down to see if there was an intoxicated worm at its nethermost.
Me: “Wow! I heard about this program but did not know it was
for real!”
I turned up the radio volume.
Me: “I do not want to
miss a single conversation.”
Radio:
Scene
1: “Thump, thump, thump,
thump, thump,
thump.”
Scene
2: “Pause.”
Scene
3: “Creeeeeek, scratch, slam.”
Scene
4: “Thump, thump,
thump, thump,
thump, thump.”
Scene
5: “Snap, slurppppp.”
Scene
6: “Pause.”
Scene
7: “Belch.”
Scene
8: “Slap.”
Scene
9: “Pause.”
Me: Man! My imagination is whirling like a Twirling Dervish…
“I know I figured out Scene 7. This is great! I wonder if there is a call-in
number?”
Radio: “And
now for a few words from our sponsor.”
Radio:
“Have you been struck while voyaging across the street, thinking the amber
flashing hand was a challenge to take a walk on the wild side?”
Me:
“Nah! Me, I run real quick.”
Radio:
“Have you considered removing your garage door because -- for whatever reason
-- it always seems down when you are backing out the Roadster?”
Me: “I don’t have a Roadster! ”
Radio:
“Do you strain and twitch while reaching for the Charmin’ spooled to the right
and four feet behind the privy?”
Me: “Don’t use Charmin.
What’s a privy?”
Radio:
“If you answered yes to any of the questions, you may have Mesothelioma Cancer as a result of working around asbestos. We at Dangler and Spangler
Attorneys-at-Law are interested in helping you receive just compensation prior
to your inimitable death. Call us now at 1-800-213-7425 or 1-800-bad-sick for a
Medicaid-paid consultation and our colorful life expectancy time chart. You can
be sure we at Dangler and Spangler Attorneys-at-Law are standing with you
during this grave hour.”
Me: “Man, you had me worried
there for a moment. I never worked in a
Chinese Bakery?”
Me: “Get done with these dumb
commercials. I want to hear the ending.”
 |
| Intoxicated worm |
Did you enjoy this post? Lawrence Fox has written more humor pieces! Try U.S. President Creates Bureau of Vital Fetal Organs
